A Complicated Kindness
Below is the next in an ongoing series of guest book reviews, this one by Paul Jessup, who can be otherwise found at his own blog.
A Complicated Kindness by Miriam Toews
reviewed by Paul M. Jessup
A Complicated Kindness
This is a story that takes place in a small Mennonite village and focuses on the narrator Nomi whose mother and older sister are missing. Their lack of physical presence paints the novel, which is written like a stream of interwoven unconnected memories. This gives the book a dream like feeling, an impression of what real memories feel like. Do not expect a traditional, linear story rife with plot. Expect a story told in the way actual memories occur, unconnected and unraveling.
In any other writer's hands this could be a failing for the novel. But with Toews's stark and lucid prose the reader is kept glued to the page as the characters reveal themselves through Nomi's memories. The dreamy aspect of the novel is enhanced by the lack of quotation marks around dialogue. This gives the book a Faulknerian objectivity that makes you feel distanced and yet actually there at the same time.
Every memory is tinged with the feeling of absence. There is an overwhelming heartbreak to the story that wrenches you forward through the haunted little town. Just when you reach a point in the story when everything feels hopeless, Toews drops in a wry and sarcastic bit of dark humor that brightens everything up. Like a tarnished gem in a trash heap, these moments of comedy bring hope to the story. She does this in a remarkable way that is not trite, nor condescending, but instead enhances the overall feeling of the story, and brings you closer to the reason why Nomi and her father never really leave their Mennonite homestead for a better life outside.
You follow Nomi's personal journey, scattered between memories of the past and the present. Everything is connected somehow, as she is in that stage of teenagerdom where we cling to the memories of our childhood and pursue a connection of our past selves to our present and future selves. There is a touching scene where she combs a barn looking for a dress she saw flutter by as a child. Both memories are connected in a realistic harmony that has its own direct tension without the need for pointless action.
Even though Nomi is a Mennonite, anyone who has grown up in a small town knows the pains she is going through. Toews makes the story real and universal, rather than small and isolated. Every friend she has, every word she speaks feels familiar. Her boyfriend acts like a guy we have met at one point or another in our real life, disgusted with the banality of school and obsessed with the certainty of their own genius.
Her longing to leave the quiet burg she has grown up in echoes the desires of every teenager in every small town in America. Her dreams are the dreams of every town USA, and they fact that she can connect our lives to those so different than ours is a testament to her writing talents.
All in all Toews pulls together an unnerving tale, filled with the haunted melodies of longing and the brilliant sarcasm that enlightens our existence. She makes a community of strangers in a strange land feel as familiar as the girl next door, and brings you into their world with such a certainty of prose that you are left wondering if you had actually entered Nomi's mind.
12 comments:
i am on chapter 10 of A complicated kindness.. from what i have read, i entirely agree of what you have written here. good work.. : )
i just finished it and loved the book. i'm looking for a sequel.
i have just finished reading this book as part of my university studies.......and i think this book gives a person alot to think about life in general....in plain and simple words....it's a complicated kindness that is being experienced by the main charcters...
I thought the book was really bad. There was nothing exciting happening, it was just life.. and as great as life can be it was not intrigueing,
Im only 15 and this book was kinda confusing for me. I enjoyed most parts of it but it was still very confusing.
"Her longing to leave the quiet burg she has grown up in echoes the desires of every teenager in every small town in America"?
"Her dreams are the dreams of every town USA"?
I realise that your governement and society will often give you in the U.S. a sense of egotism, but please, if you are writing a review of a book, try and at least get the setting correct, this is grade 5 stuff were talking about. This book takes place in Canada. So, although it may be applicable to small towns in "America" as you so ignorantly call the country the United States of America, this book is actualy about Canadians and would it therefore not be kind if it were to be related back to Canada. In the very least, the simple and broad statement of "any small town" or something of the like would help to improve the general opinion that U.S.ers, and lift the view that you are incapable of thought outside of your own personal context.
other than that, good book and good review!
edit on the above post "help to improve the general opinion that U.S.ers are egotistical,"
This truly was an excellent book; I loved the writing style, the tone and persona of Toews and most of all the random bits of life Nomi experiences that make her so like a real person. I got this book for my fourteenth birthday and was not looking forward to reading it (it had a 20% off sticker on it... not exactly something that fills you with suspense) but I've read it at least five times since and I can never get tired of it. The ending is beautiful and makes me cry everytime.
A Complicated Kindness is a very…interesting story. Instead of a flowing plot, it seems to be written more like memories or ideas thrown all over the page. There seems to be a lot of use of imagery, especially in the recurring reference to slaughtering chickens, one may wonder what significance there is.
One thing I kind of liked about this book is that it isn’t all about ‘being the perfect Menno’ – but you see Nomi’s true feelings and how she doesn’t just belong because other people want her to, or because they belong themselves. In that way it is quite realistic.
However, what I don’t like about this book is that, in all honesty, it seems kind of pointless, and boring. At the same time, I’m sure it is not easy growing up in a Mennonite community, especially if you don’t want to be there.
I think that Nomi is a Tash in the making – or what we are led to believe Tash is like, with no credit to seeing her point-of-view. But more so, I feel that she is seeking attention, not caring whether it is positive or negative, or perhaps preferring negative to be ‘dramatic’ or ‘mysterious’.
Don’t get me wrong, there are a couple spots I have gotten to where I keep reading because I want to know what happens next, but unfortunately soon disappointed. Without the proper punctuation, it is hard to follow who-says-what most times.
I think Nomi would fit in pretty well in a modern society, she is rebellious and her speech definitely reflects that of ‘modern-day’ teens. I do not believe her to be a reliable narrator – since we are only shown what things look like through her eyes in what she allows us to read. It sounds like a sixteen-year-old girl looking at the world around her and feeling sorry for herself.
Because of the style of writing, or lack of, not once do we see what Ray feels, or Trudie, or Tash, or anyone else for that matter. Also not once have I felt empathy for Nomi, and thus cannot bond or relate to her character, which I feel is a major problem.
It also struck me as odd in reading what seems to be only negative aspects and ideas of the Mennonite religion, like Toews is using a religious group to portray her own isolation problems. One wonders what a true Mennonite would think of this story.
Although many aspects may be true or accurate in this novel – I got the impression that what I have been reading is the authors own thoughts and feelings written down, expressing her own personal problems.
I feel that the ending of this book was very unsatisfying, there was no happiness, nothing that made you smile, just sadness, depressing events and an ending that leaves you hollow, and empty. The author could have – at the very least – given some substantial happiness to Nomi, one good thing to happen to her, but instead left her with nothing. No family, no friends, her boyfriend cheats on her, she has no one to turn to, nothing to fall back on. I think the central theme of this novel is sadness, cold and hollow darkness, and depression. Where all the minor themes revolve around that in itself. This is just a story of pain and loss, who wants to read a something that leaves you empty? What in Toews life made her write about a teenage girl, who loses everything? A girl whose only thing to hold on to is her boyfriend –WHO CHEATS ON HER. I would not recommend this book to anyone – unless they were looking for a reason to commit suicide, and desperately asked me if I knew of any stories for motivation.
suzieYou need to do some research into the life of the author Miriam Toews who lost her father to suicide and grew up in a mennonite community. It helps to put the book in perspective and you can actually empathize with Nomi, it was a way for the author to deal with the emptyness of her fathers death.
To the person who felt so compelled to critique this review and was so aghast that he would mistake the setting of this novel for the U.S.A.....someone should have informed you along the way, that Canada is, in fact, a part of America. Yes, indeed. Pretty basic geography, but I for one learned in grade 1 that Canada and the U.S.A form what is commonly referred to as North America. An apology might be in order!
Excellent review for an excellent book!
(To the anonymous commenter: Canada isn't part of America, darling. It's a country within the continent of North America. Your 1st grade teacher should know better.)
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