10 August 2005

Get Your Name in a Book

Neil Gaiman started it, and now it's catching on: Writers raising money for worthy organizations by auctioning off the opportunity to get your name in their book. Now a bunch of them are doing it together for the First Amendment Project. Here's the info, cut and pasted from Neil:
Have you ever wanted to be in a Stephen King book? (You must be female in order to die, though.)

Stephen King

What he's offering:
"One (and only one) character name in a novel called CELL, which is now in work and which will appear in either 2006 or 2007. Buyer should be aware that CELL is a violent piece of work, which comes complete with zombies set in motion by bad cell phone signals that destroy the human brain. Like cheap whiskey, it's very nasty and extremely satisfying. Character can be male or female, but a buyer who wants to die must in this case be female. In any case, I'll require physical description of auction winner, including any nickname (can be made up, I don't give a rip)."

When you can bid:
September 8-18

Or a Lemony Snicket book?

Lemony Snicket

What he's offering:
"An utterance by Sunny Baudelaire in Book the Thirteenth. Pronunciation and/or spelling may be slightly 'mutilated.' An example of this is in The Grim Grotto when Sunny utters 'Bushcheney.' Target publication date is Fall 2006."

When you can bid:
September 8-18

or a Jonathan Lethem-written Marvel comic?

Jonathan Lethem

What he's offering:
"I need the name of a Columbia University professor for a comic book I'm writing for Marvel. It can be your name or the name of a friend -- but if it's a friend, I need to hear from them with their permission."

When you can bid:
September 8-18

While I [that is, Neil Gaiman] am promising to put your name onto a gravestone in my next children's novel, THE GRAVEYARD BOOK.

Anyway, the schedule (and the complete list of authors) is as follows:


September 1-10: Michael Chabon, Amy Tan, Peter Straub, Andrew Sean Greer, Karen Joy Fowler

September 8-18: Stephen King, Lemony Snicket, Dorothy Allison, Jonathan Lethem, Ayelet Waldman

September 15-25: John Grisham, Nora Roberts, Neil Gaiman, Dave Eggers, Rick Moody, ZZ Packer


And all the information is up at http://www.ebay.com/fap. It's a perfect birthday present, graduation present, retirement present, way to impress a boyfriend, girlfriend, parent, child. And it's for an extremely good cause.

Spread the word.
Anybody want to work with me on persuading Harold Bloom to bid on getting his name in the King book?

3 comments:

  1. Can you bid on someone else's name?

    Because I'd pay money to see a line in a Stephen King novel such as:

    "Futilely, Carrot Top flung a stage prop at the advancing zombies. Bells and horns hidden in his clothes honked and jangled as the zombies tore his flesh apart..."

    ReplyDelete
  2. And who wouldn't pay hard cash for a passage like this in the next Lemony Snicket book:

    "Count Olaf gave her a light push. The woman tripped, flailed her bony arms, and plunged down into the bottomless pit. And so, Paris Hilton met with a very unpleasant demise. For the sake of propriety, I shouldn't add that her pet Chihuahua was dragged down with her, and howled dreadfully all the way to the end."

    ReplyDelete
  3. The thought of Zombie Harold Bloom feels like some kind of terrible Cat and Girl / Stephen King crossover . . .

    ReplyDelete