The Bravery of JPK

Jim Kelly is offering a story, "Lisa", for people to read now and see workshopped at Worldcon. Apparently, after the good people of the Cambridge SF Writers' Workshop have their say, the audience will get a chance to respond. This sounds to me like the most frightening and potentially painful experience short of being forced to sit through a Ron Howard movie marathon, and it just goes to show that along with being one of the most patient and tolerant people I have ever known, Jim is also one of the bravest.

I haven't read the story, but in my experience ignorance never stopped anybody from offering their opinion on a subject, so I thought I'd give those of you who will be attending the workshop some suggestions to offer Jim:
*Add more robots.

*The beginning didn't work for me. Have you read Dancer of Gor? I think what the reviewer said of it is important for all writers to think about: "Woman need to know that they are wanted but also to serve. In these books women get both, pleasure from pleasing and pleasure from the men, they make them beg for it to the point that they will just submit. Men could take a few pointer from these books in that pleasure department." [proceed to chew on knuckles]

*I thought it was kind of like The Matrix meets Night of the Living Dead. I mean, I know I'm reading into it, but don't you think the real theme here is the alienation of living in a society where you're not wanted? I think you should add more of that.

*I liked it.

*See, if this were a Quentin Tarrantino movie, now that would be cool, but this -- this is crap, man. Just crap.

*I have a 500-page novel that I wrote in crayon and the blood of my dog, and I was hoping I could give it to you and you'd give it to your agent because everybody says I'm a genius and I'm sure you'll agree. I thought your story needed more sex, too. And religion. The only art is art that venerates God.

*So you live in New Hampshire? Wow, your English is pretty good. I never would've suspected.